The Difference Between 5:15 a.m. and 5:15 p.m.

One word: Guilt.

I faltered.

I woke up at 5:15 a.m. on Tuesday morning, setting my alarm the night before with the intent that I would go to the dreaded instructor’s choice class.

I can’t really say what went wrong there, other than I rolled over and went back to bed.

After, of course, a moment of pondering.

What seemed like a good reason for shutting the alarm off, rolling over and going back to sleep only looks like a weak excuse in the cold hard light of day.

5:15 a.m rationale: I have to work late tonight, 4 p.m. to 12 a.m., and Wednesday night, the same. I need my sleep to function. Sleep is good. No worries. Now back to Tom Brady and that dream . . .Where were we . . . . . .

5:15 p.m. rationale: I feel like crap. What the hell was I thinking? Maybe 6 a.m. was too early. I could have made 9:15 a.m. spinning. Ugh!!! Weakling . . . .Where are the cookies?

11:30 p.m.: Crap! I hoped my absence went unnoticed, but as I check my home e-mail, I see an e-mail from Deb Dushku at f.i.t., the subject line reading simply: “!” To anyone else that is just an exclamation point. But I know what it truly is: a bitch slap to my motivation. I hesitate to open it, but I do and it reads, “I can’t believe you didn’t come this morning! You let your brain beat you!”

Damn that gob of gray goo! She’s right. It did get the best of me, seducing me with the promise of sleep and Tom Brady – who I am not particularly attracted to in real life anyway. Gisele can keep him. Not really sure what that is about. . .

But I do appreciate the check-up. Now that I know I am considered a 6 a.m.’er, part of that elite pre-dawn club of fitness warriors and that my absence will be noticed, I’ll be there.

Though I am a few days removed from the Tuesday break down, I continue to rationalize. You see, GymBuddy is out of commission for a bit, thanks to her gall bladder, or as it is now, lack there of. Though she didn’t attend instructor’s choice the first time, and told me she would likely never, and she has bagged out on a few other classes (see previous posts), there was always the hope she would be there. Knowing there was no hope for that, it made getting out of bed that much harder.

Having traveled with her, and having seen her lumber into spinning on Thursday mornings, she truly is the definition of “not a morning person.” So I always showed up because I can only imagine bearing the brunt of her wrath were I not to.

Get well soon, GymBuddy! My fear of you is my motivation!

In all seriousness, Thursday morning spinning is not the same without you singing along next me!